Fornication

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The Five Dormies

"FOR A WHORE IS A DEEP DITCH and a strange woman is a narrow pit. She lieth in wait as for a prey, and increaseth the transgressions among men!" (Proverbs 23:27).


In my early campus ministry I cautioned the girls to beware of the immoral men but in later years I saw an increasing need to also warn the men about lewd women. This admonition is prominent in the scriptures. The verse above is just one of the many examples in the book of Proverbs that cautions men about the tragic results of involvement with seductive women. Proverbs 7 gives a graphic description of a man falling prey to a whorish woman. Putting this theme in a contemporary setting, I often relate to the students the:


The Parable of the Five Dormies


When these five young men were in high school they could not wait to get to the university because they had heard how so many of the dorms were hotbeds of fornication and how so many of these dorm girls were "hot to trot."


The first dormie was Brian. He seemed to be an intelligent young man. He had graduated top of his high school class, was number one in the state debate team and was going to be a doctor. He was from a poor family but had received a full-paid scholarship. Brian wanted to put his studies first but, like a lot of young men, he also wanted to get involved with the promiscuous women.

His first night in the dorm he met LUSTFUL LISA. he said, "Lisa, how 'bout if we go out to eat and take in a movie?"


She said, "Oh, Brian, you must be a freshman; we don't do things like that here at the university--FIRST we go to bed and see how much we have in common..."


Within 30 minutes Brian and Lustful Lisa were in bed fornicating. Then Brian patted himself on the back and thought, "I've got a pretty good thing here."
But there was one problem; Lustful Lisa liked to have sex ALL the time. She got Brian to skip his classes and, whenever he would come home to study, there she'd be in his dorm room just waiting to lure him into bed. Since Brian attended so few classes and had so little time to study, he flunked out his very first semester. He lost his scholarship and could not go back to school. Today, Brian is working at McDONALD'S.


The second dormie was Fred. He was studying agriculture and going to be a farmer. Fred was from a nice rural town in Iowa. He was in love and engaged to marry a young virgin back home. But he thought as long as he was at the university, he might as well, "sow his wild oats," and get involved with the promiscuous women. His first week in the dorm, Fred met SEXY SARAH. He told Sarah she was pretty and five minutes later he had her pants off. Fred patted himself on the back and thought, "I've got a pretty good thing here."

But there was one problem: lots of men had told Sexy Sarah she was pretty and lots of men had gotten her pants off--Sexy Sarah was a carrier of VD! Not only was it VD, it was the incurable HERPES II! Within a couple of weeks some ugly red sores appeared on Fred's private parts. Of course, he had to tell his fiancee back home . . .she immediately broke off the engagement! Fred was so hurt, he was so broken-hearted, that he went out and committed suicide.


The third dormie was Jerry; Jerry thought he was a real jock. He was a football player. But Jerry wasn't just any football player. Even though he was a freshman, Jerry was already playing first string and the pro scouts already had their eyes on him. Yet, like a lot of college boys, Jerry wanted to get involved with the lewd women. His first week in the football dorm Jerry met DAIQUIRI DONNA.

Daiquiri Donna liked to fornicate but there was one thing she liked better than her fornication, her strawberry and banana daiquiris;Jerry thought, "What the heck, I'll buy her a few daiquiris; it's worth it to get her into bed." But Jerry made the mistake of drinking daiquiris with her. First it was once a week, then twice a week, then three times, a week, then almost every opportunity they had Jerry and Donna were drinking and fornicating.

By the time spring football practice came around, Jerry had begun to crave alcohol. The coach warned him but Jerry could not help himself he had to have those daiquiris, he had to have those daiquiris, HE HAD TO HAVE THOSE DAIQUIRIS! Finally Jerry went to a game under the influence of alcohol; it was the last straw--the coach kicked him off the team--his whole career went down the drain, thanks to the influence of a whorish woman!


The fourth dormie was Larry. Larry, who also seemed to be an intelligent young man, was studying to be a lawyer. But he lacked wisdom and wanted to get involved with the promiscuous women. Larry's first week in the dorm he met POTHEAD PAULA. Pothead Paula was willing to fornicate but she felt guilty about all her immorality. To escape her guilt, she always had to get high on marijuana. Larry made the mistake of getting high with her.

Before long the they were using speed, then Quaaludes, then cocaine . . . After drawing many lines they moved on to LSD. To support their habits Larry and Pothead Paula had to start dealing in drugs. One day they were going to make a big deal; all the drugs were stashed in Paula's dorm room. Paula went up to Larry and started kissing him passionately right on the lips. Within a few seconds they were in bed together. Suddenly, a knock came to the door; BANG, BANG, BANG. . . It was the POLICE; Larry and Pothead Paula got busted. So instead of becoming a lawyer, Larry had to hire a lawyer; today he's serving 10 to 15 years in the penitentiary.


The fifth and final dormie was Horny Harry. Horny Harry was not as handsome as the other four, so he had to take whatever he could get. Finally, after three weeks in the dorm, Horny Harry met ROCK 'N ROLLING RHONDA. Rhonda liked to fornicate but there was one thing she liked better than her fornication: her Rock 'n Roll music. She like to listen to The Who, to Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, the Grateful Dead, Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, Rush, AC/DC, The Sex Pistols, and she just loved, loved, loved, that pervert, MICK JAGGER. Rock 'n Rolling Rhonda liked to go to rock concerts and she would get Horny Harry to go with her. She always had to stand right down in front.

One night the music was so loud that it busted one of Harry's eardrums. He still had one left. Whenever Horny Harry and Rock 'n Roll Rhonda were committing fornication she had to have that rock music blaring.

These rock'n roll demons entered Harry and they began to speak to him... Do you know what they said? "Harry, you're a queer, Harry you lust after men, Harry, you're a HO-MO-SEX-U-AL!" So Harry dropped out of school and today he's cruising in San Francisco. By now poor Harry probably has AIDS disease.


There you have it folks, five men down the drain thanks to five whorish women.

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