By the time I was 17 yrs old, I had already become sexually active, frequently drinking, using various drugs, addicted to Meth, committing robberies, involved in gang activities and violence. Soon the club life began following sexual promiscuity within the homosexual community and careless acts that scarred my heart.
I eventually entered into a marriage that started off with much deception. We tried to turn our lives around and began going to church. We thought that if we could do enough (works) then we would obtain the happy life we envisioned. Unfortunately, those works were not enough to save us from the religious spirit we had embezzled that produced a mere “form of godliness”. When the snares of the devil came and temptations arose we “denied the power” of God and refused to truly surrender. (2 Tim. 3:5) The bondages of my ex-husband’s deceit and unfaithfulness and my bitterness and un-forgiveness caused sin to escalate and our marriage deteriorated.
After having a miscarriage, my health started to decline. I had to undergo surgery to remove cervical cancer that was progressing rapidly. Although I came close to a hysterectomy, nine months later I had yet another surgery. This time it was stage 4 endometriosis. The recommendations from the doctor was to chemically induced menopause to preserve what little fertility there was. Two weeks after this surgery my ex-husband and I separated.
Broken and torn I came falling to my knees with a cry for sincere truth and love. All I wanted was to know if God was as real and as big as everyone says He is. I asked the Lord to reveal himself to me and He asked me to do my part. My part was to lay down my sins and if I did that the Lord would help me to feel the depth of His love.
I began to intently read His word like I had never done before. It began to equip me with strength and encouragement through His promises. Most of all it awakened my heart to the true revelation of His son Jesus Christ and what He accomplished on the cross. Now, I truly gave my life to Jesus. I gave it to Him to shape and mold as He willed.
Living my life in a separation of marriage for one year, I resolved to file divorce. (1st Corinthians 7:15) In despair of my divorce I was only held together by the love God gives. The Lord spoke a word to me through Isaiah 54:4-6 “Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed...For your Maker is your husband, The Lord of hosts is His name… For the Lord has called you like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, like a youthful wife when you were refused.” This word captured my heart and sustained me wholly, because I accepted and allowed it to! “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you” (Mat. 6:33)
The Lord has added to me a hundred fold! I have been free from meth for 11 years, alcohol and marijuana 8 years, and cigarettes 5 years. I am blessed with a wonderful God fearing husband, whom I was created for and a marriage devoted to glorifying God.
At the end of the Spring Conference in 2012 we had our Pastors from the Czech do our Sunday evening service and I was prayed for and given a word from God that He has heard my cry for healing and I will no longer be barren. The very next day I found out that I was pregnant, but soon resulted in yet another miscarriage. The devil tried very hard to get me to lose faith and let go of the word God gave me, but he failed! What the devil meant for evil, God used for good and showed me that the pain and sorrow I feel when miscarriage happens, is the same way the Lord feels when one of His children departs from the body of Christ. Holding fast to the word, it was almost two months later and I was pregnant again. Marianna was born 2/12/13 my miracle baby! My faith was challenged again when I became pregnant again in September 2014 and faced an ectopic pregnancy. Almost losing my life, I came to face to face with surgery. Although I felt like I had a failed attempt for a miracle, the Lord gave me a vision of my son singing praises to God on a street of gold. After the surgery, the doctor told me that there is no sign of endometriosis at all and a miraculous healing with evidence that it was never there! I am completely healed from cervical cancer, endometriosis, and infertility! My word to anyone who has lost a child… Be at peace knowing you just help populate heaven and make it more beautiful than ever before!
“Now may the God of peace who brought up our Lord Jesus from the dead, that great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen”